Sunday, November 23, 2008

Light on the horizon?

J has been a lot better all this week, and has been to work for the whole week and been generally cheerful.

What's more, as we were making our way into town yesterday, he said to me that he now believes he can get better. It may seem like a small thing, but for so long he has been completely without hope. It's understandable that he would become discouraged after such a long period of depression, and so many attempts to treat it. But it made it very hard for him to motivate himself for the hard work of getting better.

He's not cured yet (if you can talk in terms of a cure for depression). He may have achieved a lot this week, but it's been at the cost of a lot of OCD checking. However, he's not been completely derailed by the checking, and he has managed to go into work even if he knew he'd be a bit late. In the past, he's tended to see lateness as a complete disaster, and just as bad as not arriving at all. That's not helpful.

But still! He's been to work every day, cycling nine miles each way; he's managed to come to a decision and buy a digital camera, some new jeans and warm gloves; he's caulked some crevices in the guinea pigs' run; he's kept filling in his CBT tables; and he's not been thrown into gloom by our TV being on the blink and the video recorder not working. I think this may be more than I've achieved this week.

I have, however, now made it through all but a week of NaBloPoMo. Again, I've got some way to go, but I can see the end in sight!


Loth said...

That's heartening, K. Guinea pigs and digital cameras as the new depression medication, perhaps? Seriously though, kudos to J for working hard at it. I know how difficult it is.

scoliyogi said...

Hey you, good news, good news.

Himself always says there isn't exactly a cure for depression. He says it's just something you are, like being tall or brunnette. What the CBT did is make him accept the amazing person he is despite (or maybe because) of the depression. And you find a balance. I'm so happy for you that J is making that same progress because I know what a difference it will make to both of your lives.

Much love and good vibes --R xx :)

Rosemary Grace said...

Well done J for sticking with the tables! I well remember being utterly convinced that being late for my classes meant my life was ruined. (late for class -> fail class -> drop out of university -> life over)

The crochet piglet is adorable. Do they each get a stunt double?

K said...

Thanks for the good wishes, people. I would agree that the best-case scenario is learning to manage the depression, rather than never feeling depressed ever (because even non-depressives can't manage that). But I have always believed it was possible to manage it.

As for the mini-pig - yes, the plan is to make one of each, but I've only done this one so far!